Trauma is not just something that happens to us — it’s something that lives within us, often quietly shaping our emotions, behaviors, health, and even our identity.
According to Dr. Gabor Maté, trauma is not the event itself, but the internal wound that forms in response to overwhelming experiences we couldn’t fully process or escape from.
And unless it’s healed, trauma doesn’t just disappear — it lingers in the nervous system, embedding itself in the body, mind, and heart, often manifesting in ways we don’t even recognize.
Trauma Lives in the Body
Dr. Maté emphasizes that trauma is not a psychological issue alone — it is deeply physiological, affecting the brain, immune system, gut, hormones, and more.
This is why many people with unhealed trauma don’t just experience emotional distress — they also face chronic physical symptoms.
Common physical signs of unhealed trauma include:
- Chronic fatigue or autoimmune conditions
- Digestive issues (IBS, bloating, nausea)
- Muscle tension, especially in the neck, jaw, shoulders, or hips
- Migraines or tension headaches
- Sleep disturbances or night terrors
- Cardiovascular issues (racing heart, high blood pressure)
- Unexplained pain or body aches
Dr. Maté explains that trauma activates a constant low-grade stress response, flooding the body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, leading to inflammation, burnout, and disease.
Trauma Also Shapes How We Behave
Beyond the physical, unhealed trauma shows up in how we relate to ourselves and others.
You might notice patterns like:
- People-pleasing or fear of saying “no”
- Perfectionism or chronic self-criticism
- Addictive behaviors (substance use, food, work, social media)
- Emotional numbness or disconnection
- Difficulty trusting or forming close relationships
- Anxiety, depression, or persistent feelings of unworthiness
As Dr. Maté puts it, “Trauma is not what happens to you. It’s what happens inside of you as a result of what happened to you.”
In other words, it’s the internal adaptation, not the external event.
So, How Do We Heal?
Healing trauma is not about “getting over it” — it’s about gently reconnecting with the parts of ourselves we had to suppress or abandon in order to survive.
According to Dr. Maté, healing is possible when we combine awareness, compassion, and embodied practices.
Here are key steps he outlines:
1. Create Safe Space for Self-Compassion
The first step to healing is acknowledging the pain with compassion rather than judgment.
Trauma thrives in shame and silence. Healing begins when we allow ourselves to say:
“That was too much for me. I was doing my best.”
Dr. Maté emphasizes the importance of curiosity over blame.
This shift allows us to explore our triggers, behaviors, and pain with gentleness — opening the door to self-awareness and healing.
2. Feel to Heal: Reconnect with the Body
Trauma disconnects us from our bodies — we freeze, dissociate, or become numb to protect ourselves.
Healing requires reconnecting with physical sensations, emotions, and intuition in a safe, gradual way.
This can include:
- Somatic therapy or body-based practices (like TRE, somatic experiencing, or craniosacral therapy)
- Breathwork and grounding techniques
- Yoga, dance, or mindful movement
- Spending time in nature, which regulates the nervous system
Dr. Maté reminds us that “The body never lies.”
Listening to the body’s signals can help us release long-held trauma stored in muscle memory and the nervous system.
3. Tell the Truth: The Healing Power of Authenticity
A major theme in Dr. Maté’s work is the cost of suppressing our true selves.
Many people with trauma have learned to disconnect from their needs, emotions, or authenticity in order to gain love or safety.
Healing involves reclaiming your truth, expressing what was once silenced, and surrounding yourself with relationships where you feel seen, heard, and valued.
Therapy, support groups, journaling, or expressive art can be powerful tools here.
4. Regulate the Nervous System Daily
Because trauma dysregulates the nervous system, consistent daily regulation practices are key to healing.
These may include:
- Meditation or mindfulness
- Cold exposure or vagus nerve stimulation
- Deep breathing (such as box breathing or 4-7-8 breath)
- Rituals that promote safety, predictability, and rhythm
Final Thoughts
Healing trauma isn’t about erasing the past — it’s about liberating ourselves from the grip it still holds over our bodies and minds.
Through compassionate awareness, body-based healing, and emotional honesty, we can begin to transform pain into presence, and survival into vibrant, authentic living.
As Dr. Gabor Maté beautifully says:
“The essence of trauma is disconnection from the self — and the healing is through reconnection.”
